Dear Friends,
I’m still on a high from this past weekend when I attended and spoke at a Project Makom shabbaton. Project Makom is an organization that was started to help charedim who want to transition to a more moderate community.Still, a comment from a friend has me thinking, and a bit concerned. When my friend, who is Modern Orthodox as well, heard about Project Makom, he suggested that the Modern Orthodox community might not be so welcoming. My first instinct was to think of all the wonderful people I know in the MO world, and those people who offered to host charedim who would like to spend Shabbos with them, and yet, upon further reflection, I wonder if my friend might be partially correct.
A different friend, who grew up in a chassidic community, recently walked into a Modern Orthodox shul. He noted, and yet, sadly, was not surprised by the fact, that almost nobody welcomed him, or said Good Shabbos. He was not surprised as this was not the first time that he had an experience like this. Lest one suggest that the same thing would happen if the situation was reversed, and a MO person were to enter a chassidish shtiebel, my experience and that of my friends have been quite different. I have always found chassidish shuls to have a warm and welcoming atmosphere.
While the amateur psychologist in me might be able to explain why this difference exists, I’m not sure that the reason really matters all that much. Modern Orthodoxy has improved in so many areas, with our shuls offering numerous minyanim and opportunities for talmud Torah for both men and women. I’d like to see a greater emphasis on hachnasas orchim join the list.
Of course, I’m hoping for something greater. What would happen if someone from a chassidic community wanted to join your community? Not just for a Shabbos, but for good. Would they be welcomed? Would there children have friends to play with? Sadly, I have heard stories of families who tried to integrate who were not made to feel welcome, and ultimately left. We can do better. We need to do better.
Allow me to conclude with the story of Franz Rosenzweig. At one point in his life, Rosenzweig, who would go on to become a serious Jewish thinker, had been ready to convert to Christianity. Shortly before his conversion, he attended a Kol Nidrei service in a Chassidic shtiebel. Rosenzweig was so moved by the experience that he decided not to to convert. Nobody knows exactly what he witnessed in the shtiebel, but it was enough to change the course of his life. Had Rosenzweig been a chassid who entered one of our community’s shuls, would he have remained a Jew?
With hopes for the redemption,
Pesach
"Dear Friends,I’m still on a high from this past weekend when I attended and spoke at a Project Makom shabbaton....
Posted by Pesach Sommer on Wednesday, June 17, 2015
The MOs are afraid of being judged by the former chassidim for being too lax... doesn't make sense but it's a real thing.
ReplyDeleteThat might be part of it, but I think there's more.
DeletePesach, hi. In my predominantly modern orthodox neighborhood in Bet Shemesh, a chassidic family moved in 18 years ago and have fully integrated in our community. The family fully participates in communal social activities and davens in our Religious Zionist shul while retaining their chassidic customs and dress. Feel free to contact me for further information if you'd like to delve into this "case study".
ReplyDeleteKol tuv,
--David
David, I think that Israel is very different in this regard. Yet another reason to wish I was living there.
DeleteI think tesyaa is right. And there is therefore a difference between someone "stopping in" to catch a minyan, where low self-esteem can lead to not welcoming Chareidim, and welcoming them into the community, as if they chose to join the community, they must not be rejecting it.
ReplyDeleteEven in the latter case, I've heard some horror stories. One of them helped lead to the founding of Project Makom.
DeleteThe problem isn't halachic rigidness or MO laxity. (Although we do have a significant O-lite contingent.) The problem is spirituality -- meaning what you do. אחד המרבה ואחד הממעיט ובלבד שיכוין לבו לשמים
ReplyDeleteChassidus offers one path for developing such passion.
If the problem is translating observance into a being a person who is ehrlach and being welcoming, mussar is the more direct path. But has the downside of presuming someone is willing to work and work before seeing visible results.
That came out overly pragmatic... You can't really pick which hashkafah you find moving, or which eclectic blend works for you.
ReplyDeleteWhat a community would really need to be successful is low walls. Allowing people who find their passion in different ways of looking at Judaism to live in one community without declaring an us-vs-them.
And if we had taken that route, you wouldn't have needed a Project Makom to begin with. The whole problem comes from teaching there is One True Way, and therefore the person leaving sees no greater affinity to other ways of being a Shomer Shabbos than abandoning halachic Judaism altogether.
And yes, MO suffers from this problem as well, with a passive-aggressive spin. Talking about eilu va'eilu when it comes time to demand validation from the right, but meanwhile investing far more effort cataloging chareidi issues then their own.
(PS: Thanks for forwarding my comment to FB. I can't get there from here for a while.)
Micha, I agree with your second comment (didn't understand the first). Communities need low walls and acceptance of the other as legitimate, and allow travel between communities.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteChareidim join an MO community? How serious can that be if the Chareidim cannot afford to be part of the MO community. It takes a seriously large income to join an MO community.
ReplyDeleteSchooling alone is a fortune. Especially if the Chareidi MO-wannabes have many children, whereas MO families typically are more limited in their number of offspring.
And the Chareidim typically have a notably lower income than MO families.If it is one of the few Chareidim who can afford being MO there is what to talk about. But that is, by far, the exception and not the rule.
The financial issue is signifigant. I might write about it in the future.
Delete