If you are on Facebook,
your wall has been bombarded over the last several days with messages
that said “Here’s
my Facebook movie. Find yours at ...”.
My first instinct, which I unfortunately gave in to a bit, was to see
this as just more Facebook spam, worthy of being mocked. Ultimately,
I clicked on the link and saw my own movie, and, must admit that I
found it touching. Later, I found myself wondering why I and others
seem to feel the need to distance ourselves from activities of this
kind, real and virtual, not just by ignoring them, but by proclaiming
that we are above them.
I
admit that, although I like kittens in real life, I have no interest
in seeing pictures of them on my Facebook feed, even when posted by
friends. Same goes for pictures of food, political rants, and any
post that has “LOL” in it. Although my second favorite use for
Facebook is having serious discussions about Jewish and social
issues, I also post about my running, pictures and statuses about my
kids that perhaps only I find cute, and funny or thoughtful pictures,
articles and things that some might consider to be nonsense.
I
was more than a little disturbed by some posts leading into the Super
Bowl where the high road was claimed, by those who were not
interested in the Super Bowl, as if somehow those who were, were
less, I don't know, intelligent, sensitive or thoughtful. I invoked a
phrase that I borrowed from my rebbe, Rabbi Mayer Schiller, that
those who are tone deaf, should not criticize those who appreciate
music. I might not appreciate rap (to put it mildly) but I can
appreciate why someone might. OK, not really, but you know what I
mean.
I
will never change my profile for “Doppelganger Week”, but I
understand why some people enjoy it. Although I don't always see the
resemblance, I'm disturbed by those who think it's within the bounds
of propriety to tell others that they are overestimating their looks
(not in so many words, but with that implication). It's acceptable to
sit out a dance, but not not to scorn the dancers, especially if you
are criticizing their appearance, or, in truth, something even
deeper.
I
rarely laugh out loud, so I rarely write “LOL”. I'm sometimes
amazed by things but usually without saying “oh my God” so I
never write OMG, with or without twelve exclamation points. On the
other hand, after years of thinking I would never do so, I do use
acronyms for shorthand, out of laziness or to appear, as, I believe,
young people say today, more hip. Or is it groovy? In any case, I do
commit to never laugh any body parts off, or at least not to admit to
it publicly, especially on Instagram, not that there's anything wrong
with that.
Which
brings me to my favorite use for Facebook. For me, it's about
connecting with people, some whom I know in real life and others only
virtually. More than a few times I've received comfort from the kind
words of someone whom I have never actually met. I've made new
running buddies, interacted with some amazingly intelligent and
thought out people, and changed my opinion on issues of various kinds
when the weakness of my argument has been pointed out. Yes, I can get
a bit self-righteous, write things that are only worthy of “Chicken
Soup for the Soul”, or forget there's another real
person
with whom I am interacting, but I can also help introduce somebody to
a great young writer, make someone smile or even laugh out loud, or
just let them know that I care. So if watching ballet means more to
you than watching the big game or you think only saps and emos make
Facebook movies, that's fine. Just keep it to yourself. Your little
joke or sarcastic dig might be hurtful to someone who finds these
things to be meaningful. Kindness, even when expressed through
silence, can go a long way.
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