What's in it for me? A Super Bowl postscript

Meir had the time time of his life at the game, so why do I feel so empty?

There's a great scene at the end of “Field of Dreams”, the movie version of the wonderful W.P. Kinsella book “Shoeless Joe” where Ray, in one of Kevin Costner's better roles is told he can not follow “Shoeless” Joe Jackson into the corn field. He's sacrificed a lot to make things work out and now he is told that he, seemingly, can not see the fruits of his labors. Exasperated, he asks “What's in it for me?”.

When I first wrote about getting Meir to the Super Bowl, some people wondered if my quest was all about Meir, or whether it was also about me. The more perceptive ones thought there might be some ego wrapped into it, where I wanted to see if I could pull off something with such a high degree of difficulty. While I can not deny that my ego entered the equation, the quest was about something else.

Being a father to my sons is one of the hardest things I've ever tried to do. Not because of them. Each one is a wonderful kid with personality, intelligence and humor. I struggle to not push my (as of yet?) unfulfilled dreams and goals on them. While in the classroom I am able to educate for the long term, as a father I struggle to focus on anything but the here and now.

I had hoped that getting Meir a ticket to the Super Bowl would somehow strengthen the bond between us, but after I dropped him off at the train station, I started to cry as I realized that, at best, I would even truly be a spectator for one of the happier days of his life. I knew from the pictures, smiles and recap that he was happy, but I yearned to know more.

Of course, I don't regret getting the ticket. I have tremendous appreciation for the man who helped make it happen. While It didn't know him when this whole quest began, I now count him as a friend. Whenever I consider that he did this for a boy he never met, I am moved beyond words. Still, as I look at pictures from the game, with Meir smiling his million dollar smile, as he stands next to do someone else, I feel an ache that I just can't get rid of.

Getting Meir to the Super Bowl- Why am I Doing This?

Why am I doing this? Am I crazy? Delusional, perhaps? Maybe I'm just being greedy?

Since I started my quest to get Meir to the Super Bowl on February 2^nd, these are some of the questions that have been going through my mind. As of two months ago, Meir had never even been to a regular season game. Thanks to a casual friend and a former student, I was able to get him to see his beloved Giants. He had a great time, even if they did lose 24-0. Shouldn't that be enough? Why isn't the smile on his face enough for me to feel satisfied? Is it reasonable to make a ticket to the Super Bowl my next goal?

These too, are good questions. I suppose that I could talk about wanting to give him an experience that he wants so badly, or that the game is being played only five miles away, something that is likely to never happen again. I could tell you about how we worked so hard to earn money to buy a ticket, when he thought they could be had for $600, only to discover that the price was much higher, and that, even if he earned the money, his parents would never let him spend that on a football game. None of these would be enough to get me to call in a big favor. I mean, how many people do you know who have ever been to the 'Big Game'?

I had a lot of thoughts and dreams when I was growing up, about the kind of father I wanted to be. Some came from wanting to be just like my dad, while others were things that I hadn't seen at home. I was never going to be too tired to have a catch with my son. I was going to take him to ballgames. At first, I was going to turn him into the kind of athlete I wish I had been. Then, it was the kind of talmid chacham (Torah scholar) I desired to be. I would be patient, and calm, and...a whole lot more. So far, I've fallen short. Very short, although I'm not giving up. This ticket is not about wanting to makeup for my shortcomings as a father. However much I want to do that, bribery or gifts are not the way to get there.

This is no “Make-A-Wish” situation. Thank God, Meir is not sick. He is going through a tough time though. I won't share the details publicly, but it's hard for me to see him hurting, especially when there is not much that I can do to help. If I can lighten things up for him by doing special, I'd feel so much better. Still, I know, one exciting day, no matter how amazing it will be, will not change things for him.

So I'm back to all the questions. I don't know if this makes sense, but as I sit here fighting back tears, as I hope and pray that a boy around Meir's age, who has disappeared, be found, as I sit and think of his father, having read this , there is hardly a thing in the world I wouldn't try to do to help Meir feel a little happier.

I am looking for help to get Meir to the Super Bowl. I DO NOT want anyone to spend money on it. If you have money to donate, please donate to Just One Life. I'm looking for someone who has a connection with an owner, player, agent, someone who works at NFL Headquarters, someone with a box at Metlife, connection to sponsoring company etc.

He is old enough to go by himself, so we need only one ticket.

If you want to discuss this, please email me at rabbipesach@gmail.com.