Darchei Noam- Making the use of halachic pre-nups commonplace

I left Alon Shvut on a high. The Yom Iyun in Tanach had been everything I had hoped for. I had heard shiurim from, and met, some of the best teachers of Tanach in the world. I was sorry to be leaving, but the second part of my day was about to begin. I was heading for Bet Shemesh for a program about halachic pre-nuptial agreements sponsored by Beit Hillel. Among the speakers were Gush Rosh Yeshiva Rav Baruch Gigi, and Rav Meir Lichtenstein. The program promised to be thought-provoking and informative.

Soon, my mood dropped. The shiurim at Gush had been uplifting and powerful, but despite the high level of the speakers at the halachic pre-nup program, the topic started to get me down. Hearing stories of agunot and marriages that had broken up, was a real emotional letdown, particularly after the yom iyun. I began to wonder whether it had been a mistake to attend this program, and add additional time and travel onto an already exhausting day. I was tired and hungry and eating way too many mint brownies. Then I started thinking a bit, and everything changed.

The shiurim at Gush had been incredible, but they were entirely theoretical. On a theoretical level, it is easy for Torah to be uplifting and powerful. The words of the prophets can easily inspire, when they address people who lived over 2,000 years ago, but do they push us to address the major problems of our generation? What might the neviim have said had they witnessed the massive chilulei HaShem which take place every time a get is used to oppress?

I’m not a posek and I don’t want to get into the halachic particulars. I do want to share one idea that was the biggest takeaway for me from the program. The halachic details need to be properly addressed, and halachic pre-nups have to be done in a way that will be fair for both spouses, but at the end of the day, they will only work if signing them becomes common. Although rabbis can help by discussing pre-nups in shul, and urging couples for whom they are messadrei kiddushin to sign, that is not enough. Parents and educators need to teach about it and discuss it to the point that it becomes so normal as to not seem un-romantic or strange. I would draw a parallel to seat-belt use. When I was a kid, it was still common for people, including young children to sit without a seat-belt. Through education and discussion it has reached the point where buckling up is the norm. The same thing must happen with halachic pre-nups.

It is not enough for Torah to be inspiring and uplifting. It must leave an imprint on our everyday messy and imperfect lives. When halacha is used in an immoral way, we must step up to make it, once again a Torah whose ways are ways of pleasantness and all its paths are peace.

Coming Home- On Modern-Orthodoxy's move from the US to Israel

There was a time when, for the most part, America was the home of serious Modern-Orthodoxy. This was true both because institutions like Yeshiva University embodied Modern-Orthodoxy’s ideals, and was thriving, and because, beyond Yeshivat Har Etzion and Bar Ilan University, Israel lacked institutions that advocated living a serious halachic lifestyle while making use of the best that modernity has to offer. Some observers made the mistake of assuming that kippah-serugah world in Israel, led by rabbis from Yeshivat Merkaz HaRav, was modern, while failing to recognize that there was little connection to modernity beyond Zionism, and secular education.

Today the reality has changed. Yesterday, I attended the Tzohar Conference on Education, Community and Country,  in Yerushalyim. Tzohar is a rabbinical organization committed to making Judaism meaningful and accessible to all Israeli Jews, including women, chilonim, olim from the FSU and converts. As I attended four fascinating sessions, led by Roshei yeshiva, world-class scholars and leading educators, during which I wished I could clone myself so that I could attend other sessions that I was missing, I found myself wondering whether a program of this kind could be put on within an American Modern-Orthodox framework. How many Roshei Yeshiva at YU would participate in a conference like this? Which organization would put it on? Would many hundreds of people attend?

Tzohar is just one example. This week, Machon Herzog, which is connected to Yeshivat Har Etzion, is hosting their annual Tanach Yemei Iyun. Thousands of Jews will hear shiurim from some of the biggest talmidei and talmidot chachachmim in the field. Where is a program in the US that can rival the yemei iyun in size, scholarship and scope? I could also discuss many other examples of Modern-Orthodoxy’s shift to the shores of Israel, including women’s Torah learning at institutions like Matan and Nishmat, think-tank/advocacy by Beit Hillel, and scholarship coming from Bar-Ilan and Beit Morasha, but the point has been made.

Meanwhile, YU struggles to maintain a Modern-Orthodox identity, with few Roshei Yeshiva who fully identify with the Modern-Orthodox world, serious financial problems, a diminishing student-body and a slew of scandals and controversies. Organizations like the RCA, to whatever degree they represent Modern-Orthodoxy, are mostly irrelevant to the average Jew who is looking for leadership, education, and vision. While Rabbi Asher Lopatin seems to be trying to rebrand Yeshivat Chovevei Torah as modern rather than open orthodox, it remains to be seen whether he will be successful and whether YCT can become large enough and mainstream enough to make a real difference.

Does the shift from the US to Israel matter? For those who believe in Modern-Orthodoxy, I think it does. As much as some of us might wish to see an increase in American aliyah, the American Jewish community is, for the most part, staying put. Modern -Orthodox shuls and schools, particularly those outside of New York, struggle to find like-minded rabbeim and teachers. As American orthodoxy further splits, with moves to both the right and the left, those who feel comfortable in neither camp, will find themselves increasingly isolated. While aliyah is not an option for all of us, the shift of Modern-Orthodoxy to Israel’s shores is just another reason to think about where we belong, and what kind of options we wat our children to have.

Post by Pesach Sommer.

The Uncomfortable Split

I am not sure whether the Volvo commercial with Jean-ClaudeVan Damme performing a truly “epic” split led to more sales of trucks. What I do know is that in addition to going viral, the commercial got me thinking, and for me, the split has become a metaphor.

It is either a sign of my nuanced views and/or an indication of my poor writing skills that as I have worked to try to create a middle ground between the worlds of Right-wing Modern Orthodoxy and Open Orthodoxy, it has been assumed by some that I am a musmach of YCT, a believer in the need for the ordination of women, a supporter of partnership minyanim, a puppet to the “right-wing” roshei yeshiva of YU, a charedi and beholden to Rabbis Gil Student or Ysoscher Katz. In fact, I am none of the above. I am however, a believer in serious learning opportunities for women, making women as comfortable as possible in shul within the limits of halacha, that moderation is not a dirty word, that halacha has rules, and that Rabbis Katz and Student, are acting l'sheim shamayim and have contributed to the world of Torah. Although I am more comfortable within the world of YU, and lean towards halachic conservativism, I am sympathetic to some of the motivations behind psak that has come from musmachim of and teachers at YCT. I have been spiritually and intellectually nurtured by many of the Roshei Yeshiva at YU, even as I do not fully identify with most of them hashkafically.

I suppose that it is fitting that I write these words on Yom Yerushalayim, living in a community where most shuls said tachanun this morning. More and more, I find myself most sympathetic to Israeli institutions where serious Torah scholarship, combines with moderation and a willingness to make slow but steady progress in advancing thoughtful progressive change. Yeshivat Har Etzion's Roshei Yeshiva and rabbeim serve as models of what I aspire to in Torah. At Gush, as the yeshiva is known, there is a commitment to openness to the challenging questions on Torah and halacha, within a clear spirit of yirat shamayim. Beit Hillel acts to promote women's learning and leadership positions, tolerance and a values based approach to psak and the klal.

I find myself wondering what it is about Israel that allows for these institutions to achieve a balance that American institutions struggle to achieve. Looking for the chance to, once again teach Torah, I wonder if there is an institution which would be comfortable with my views. Being that aliyah is most likely at least a few years off, I remain stuck in this uncomfortable split, hoping that the supports on which I am precariously balanced, don't move further apart.